Regret
by buddy2197
Summary: What will happen when the one and only, Amanda Rollins, confesses her love for a certain someone? Will she get the happy ending she desires? Or will her whole world turn upside down? And if so, than how will she deal with the rejection? How will the certain someone deal with their regret?-*Rolivia*
1. Chapter 1

I was watching re-runs when this came to me, so I hope you guys like it. Also I'd like to point out that this is my first FF for SVU, so tell me if you guys like it and want for me to continue. I might be posting daily - only because there's only one chapter left to finish and I'm almost done - and there's a total of 5 to - maybe - 6 chapters that I plan to post. To those who are reading my Jori story, don't worry, I plan to update soon, promise! And lastly, please, please, please, please review, I love hearing back from people:)

Disclaimer: I don't anything, but all of my mistakes and the plot idea, that all, I swear! *slowly raises arms in surrender*

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Regret  
Chapter 1 - The Confession

Amanda's knuckles connected to the hard wood of the door; she was shaky, her heart was beating a hundred beats a minutes, she felt fever-ish and her palms were clammy. All she hoped was that her courage was still with her because the door was opening and she needed to start talking...now.

"I don't really know where to start. You make me want to pull my hair off, you make me want to scream in frustration, you make me smile, you make me want to hug you and dream about you everyday of every second. It's driving me crazy, that I can't do any of that, that I have to sit around and watch you leave with other people, that I can't do anything to stop it! You are the one I want and I can't have you because there's no way that you'd go for a girl like me. I try and I try to get your attention, every day trying something new to grab your attention, but every time it fails and I watch you leave with someone who isn't me, and that frustrates me." Amanda said as she breathed in a big breath as she finished her rambling. She stared at big, wide, chocolate eyes as they stared back at her with surprise. She felt like her heart was going to explode from her chest and she was tempted to put a hand on her chest as if to stop it from actually popping out, but she held back, staring at those eyes. She knew this was a bad idea, but she couldn't take it anymore, she couldn't take the heartbreak any longer, and she had decided that she had to do it now, or she might never said anything, but now she was regretting the surge of confidence that she had a few minutes ago. All adrenaline was leaving her body, and she felt her body begin to shake when she really became aware of what she had just done.  
She stared at the woman who held her heart, the one that was capable of turning her life into a nightmare or the happiest life she could ever hope for. his was the woman who had the power to make her life hell and she didn't like the feeling. She liked being in charge, she liked being in control, and now, that wasn't the case; her control was given to this woman and that terrified her because she couldn't decide for herself, she couldn't make sure that everything turned out the way that she wanted it to.

"So this is me, asking - pleading - you to please give me a chance, because I can make you happy, I can try my hardest to make sure you are treated right and happy, not like all those other losers that you've dated," Amanda said, not liking the silence and the tension that seemed to hang around them. Her hands shook nervously as she looked back to the other woman; she watched as the other woman blinked a couple of times, trying to rid herself of the surprise, she watched as the gaping mouth opened and closed repeatedly.

"I-I don't know what to say," started the other woman, but stopped, she herself not really knowing what to say. Here stood the woman that she had wanted for so long, confessing to feelings she thought were one-sided, and she couldn't say anything because she didn't know how to. How could she explain that this wasn't the best time to come talk to her, that someone was over, that one of those losers was seated in her living room because she didn't have the guts to express herself the right way, and had decided to leave the situation to itself? S he had decided a long time ago that she wasn't going to do anything for so many reason, she believed it would never work out, that Amanda was straight, that feelings were never reciprocated, but now, here she stood, speaking her heart out and she was rendered silent.

"Olivia, babe, what is taking so long?" Asked the man from behind her, and she knew, she just knew, that her chance to respond had just gone out the window. She looked back to stare at Cassidy, not liking the way that he looked in her apartment, not liking the way that he ha probably just ruined everything for her, but she knew it wasn't his fault, it was her own and she was starting to regret herself for it. She turned back to stare back at the other woman, but gasped when she saw a tear roll down the blonde woman's cheek; she knew where this was going, and she didn't want this to end this way, it couldn't all she wanted was her and now she knew that things weren't going to end the way she wanted it too.

"Aman-" She started, but she was interrupted by the breaking voice of the blonde.

"I knew this was a bad idea," Amanda shook her head and started to take steps back, "I should go, I-I'll-" Amanda just shook her head and took a few steps back before she broke out into a run.

"Amanda!" Cried out Olivia, she looked to see the back of the blonde's figure. She leaned her head against the door frame and wiped at a tear that slipped down her cheek. She should follow, she should go after her, but something was stopping her. She took a step back and closed the door and headed back to where Cassidy was, but all she was feeling was the feeling of regret and she knew exactly why she felt that way.

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Thanks for reading and please review:)

-Buddy2197


	2. Chapter 2

So here's the second chapter, hope you enjoy:)

Disclaimer: I own nothing!

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Regret

Chapter 2 - The Confrontation

Amanda didn't get much sleep after the incident she was completely embarrassed about and the one she was not going to talk about it. She knew it was a bad idea and her red blood-shot eyes was evidence of how bad everything turned out. Everything was going to be so weird when she went back into the precinct, when she had to go somewhere with her or when she needed to do anything that had to do with Olivia.

She was on her way to a crime scene and it still wasn't even twelve hours since the incident and now they were both headed to the same place. This was going to be the nightmare that she had seen coming; this was bad, she knew there was only so much she could take, and she was already broken, now she had to be around the one woman who knew the truth about what she thought about her and she was sure that that was not a good idea; she sighed as she bent forward underneath the crime scene tape - this was going to be a long case.

"Hey, Finn, What do we got?" She asked, her eyes kept her eyes only on Finn, making sure that it didn't stray to anyone else, well just Olivia mostly.

"Some guy decided it was a good idea to jump out of a building. Too bad he missed his landing." Finn responded, shaking his head as he pointed to the area where the victim was being examined by Warener, Amaro and Benson standing near, gathering any information they can.

"Then why were we called in?" She asked, thinking this sounded like a suicide.

"Apparently he has anal tearing and spit surrounding his no-no square." Said Finn, "Warner said that it didn't look like he was pushed off, so we're thinking that he tripped during his release or something. He fell with his pants around his ankles."

"Well, okay, so where do we start?" She asked, her head cocking to the side in question.

"Well, Amaro and I were going to question a few witnesses who saw him fall." Informed Finn, but he noticed that Amanda looked jumpy and nervous. "You okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, just...would you mind if I go with you?" Amanda asked, not looking at him directly.

"Is there something you ain't saying here, Rollins?" He asked, his eyed narrowing in suspicion.

"No, it's just that I think I need a bit of fresh air, that's all." She responded, this time looking directly at him.

"You sure, you look like you've had a rough time." Informed Finn, ducking his head to look into his partners eyes, who had ducked her head.

"It's fine, Finn, just been a long night." She responded back, the eye contact making her shaky and uncertain.

"Well if you need anything, you know where to find me. I just need to ask a few other questions to Olivia, so if you want to start, the witnesses are over there." He said pointing to the area outside the crime scene tape, where the ambulance and police cars were located. She just simply nodded and got to work.  
She had interviewed around 5 people, going onto her sixth, when something got her attention; the warm, firm hand that was placed on her back. Quickly turning around to face the person that touched her, she gasped when she came face to face with Olivia.

"Aman-"

"I have work to do," said Amanda, quickly turning around and moving to the next man for questioning.

"Finn told me to come help you, since he and Amaro went with Warner to the precinct to work on the guys identity." Informed Olivia, taking a step toward the other detective. She knew she messed everything up, but when she saw Amanda's eyes she felt like her heart was in someones tight grip; she never wanted to hurt the blonde, but apparently keeping her mouth shut had caused more trouble than good.

"Well there's only a few people left, you can start with them," informed Amanda, her voice shaky.

"Okay," whispered Olivia, her voice showing her disappointment.

"Okay, sir, can you tell me your name?" Amanda began her questioning with the witness; he was rather weird looking actually, he wore a big black coat that covered his tall figure to mid-thigh, showing his black tailored pants, and black shiny designer shoes; he was not a person who would catch someone's eye, instead his white skin tone seeming pale and clammy.

"Nat, Nat Winters," said the man with a nod, his voice raspy and rough.

"Can you tell me what you saw?" She asked, writing his name down.

"I was walking down the street, minding my business, when all the sudden there was this scream and then a thud, after that everything went kinda hectic really," said Nat, but his voice was nervous and his blue eyes were frantically searching for something above her head, as if sweeping the area.

"Okay, is there anything weird that you may have noticed at the time, anything at all?" She asked, looking up to stare at him in the eyes.

"Not really, but I did see some guy running down the street, he didn't look like he was running away, more like running for excercise," he said, the last part was more of a whisper and a blush over took his cheeks, "uh, so maybe I didn't really see anything weird, I just wanted to talk to the pretty woman." His blush increased, and he raised his hand to the back of his neck, nervously rubbing the back of his neck.

"It's alright, but if you do remember, anything at all, feel free to call the precinct. Anything could be helpful." She said, really trying to show that she wasn't grimacing at the guys attempt at flirting.

"Sure," the man said, his red cheeks becoming brighter from the rejection.

"You're free to go home," she informed him and noticed that Olivia was with the last witness. She took out her phone to see the time - 3:30 AM; great, this was going to be a sleepless night, yet it wasn't like she was going to sleep tonight anyways. Again she felt the warm, firm hand placed lightly over the center of her back. Quickly she stepped back and turned around, her eyes connecting with chocolate eyes.

"Amanda-" Olivia tried again, but was interrupted.

"Please don't," whispered Amanda, her vision becoming blurry. She cleared her voice and then said, "I'm going to go to the precinct, try to help Finn and Amaro."

"I can give you a ride if you want," Olivia said, taking a step closer, but remembered they weren't on good terms.

"Don't do this, please." Responded Amanda, her voice becoming jittery and her palms clammy.

"Don't do what? Don't apologize? Don't tell you what I need to tell you?" Asked Olivia, following Amanda who began to walk down the street.

"No; you had your chance and it wasn't here. I heard you loud and clear, Olivia, even if you didn't say anything, I got it!" Yelled Amanda as she stopped walking and turned around.

"Look, I was shocked, okay!? I was shocked and you didn't give me time to respond, you left!" Said Olivia, stopping in front of the other detective.

"I didn't give you time? You were with someone else! What did you want me to do? Stay and have a good time with you and your boyfriend after I told you that I want you, that I lo-" Amanda stopped, realizing what she was going to say. She put a hand over her mouth and a tear slid down her cheek; she shook her head, turned around, and walked away, tears quickly leaking from her eyes.

"Look I know I didn't react quickly and that Cassidy was there, but he wasn't there for what you thought! He isn't my boyfriend, okay, I broke up with him a few weeks ago, he was getting his stuff; the case we closed finished late and he was up, so he came over," Olivia said, again following Amanda down the street, "Will you stop!?"

"Look, I get it, can we just ignore that it ever happened?" Yelled Amanda, her voice breaking.

"You're not listening! You don't let me finish!" Said Olivia, grabbing at Amanda's arm, turning her around and stepping close, loving the warmth that radiated of the other woman.

"Can we please not do this? I get it, friends, it's not that hard! I'll stay on my side of the station and you stay to your side, and everything will blow over; no big deal." Said Amanda, crossing her arms, not liking how her body was begging her to get closer.

"Again, you're not listening Amanda-" Began Olivia, but she was interrupted again.

"What is it? What is it that I don't hear?" Asked Amanda, her arms flailing around in frustration. Olivia just grunted in frustration before she took two quick steps, grabbed Amanda's face, and connected her lips to the others detective. Lips danced with lips after a few seconds of surprise, lips molded against the other, heat radiating from one person to another. Amanda felt like everything stopped as she felt Olivia asked for entrance, her tongue sweeping at her bottom lip for permission. Granting her access, she moaned when tongue met tongue; placing her hands on hips she pulled the other woman's body towards her, they both moaned when they felt each other flush against the other.

"That," said Olivia when they broke the kiss, but stayed in the other woman's arms, "is what I was trying to say."

"Oh," whispered Amanda, a blush set on her cheeks. Olivia chuckled and wiped at Amanda's lone tears; she leaned in again and pecked the blonde's cheek where a tear had resided.

"I know that I should have followed you, so that you wouldn't think something else, but I just wanted Cassidy out and you had surprised me that I wasn't thinking much." Explained Olivia, her embrace on Amanda tightening.

"I'm mad at you," grunted Amanda, her voice not as serious as she wanted it to be.

"Maybe I can make it better?" Olivia said, wagging her eyebrows and leaning in to connect their lips again. Olivia moaned at the taste of the other woman, glad to feel their lips molding against the others, but before she could deepen the kiss, her cell phone rang out. Amanda grunted in frustration at the interruption while Olivia reached for her pocket. "Benson...yeah, we're still here...no, we finished, no one saw anything except for the victim falling...okay, yeah I'll check that out...yeah, alright, see you in a bit." Olivia said into the phone, and taking out her notepad to write down everything that Finn had told her over the phone. She looked back up when she was finished and said, "Work's calling."

"Right," Amanda said, taking a step back and distracting herself from Olivia, "What did the guys find out?"

"Victim's name is George Milson, 24, lives in apartment number 9 from the building he jumped off. Guys said that he had a rather impressive track record; they say he did time for sexual assault when he was in high school." Olivia informed her in, shaking her head in disgust at the last part.

"So let's start with his building and apartment, maybe we can find out something new from the security tapes." Thought Amanda out loud.

"Yeah," said Olivia, "I guess we're gonna talk about this later?" Asked Olivia.

"I think I can clear some time for you..." Amanda trailed off, a smirk playing on her face. Olivia just chuckled and quickly pecked the other woman's lips before turning around and heading back to the crime scene.

"Hurry up Detective, there's a crime to solve and I would hate to tell the Captain that you were being lazy the entire case. Where would that leave you, Detective Rollins?" Olivia joked as she walked away, swaying her hips, knowing a certain someone would be watching.

"Yeah, uh, we wouldn't want that, Detective Benson." Responded Amanda, almost tripping over her own feet while her attention was placed somewhere else. 'This is going to be a long night,' thought Amanda, her mouth suddenly dry with the view in front of her, and like a good love struck puppy, she followed her owner to her every command, but she would never admit that to anyone, she simply smiled and followed.

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Thanks for the reviews, and please continue love them!

-Buddy2197


	3. Chapter 3

Here's `chapter 3, hope you guys like it.

Disclaimer: i own nothing

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Regret

Chapter 3

Olivia Benson was one to put all her attention on her job, her attention never straying from it, but today she seemed a bit distracted, her eyes straying to a certain blonde, who sat at her desk as they went over new information. She was distracted and now she needed to keep her attention on this case; there we're no repeats of the murder, so they didn't have a serial killer on their hands. The DNA found on the victim's body had no hit in the system and none of the other residents saw or heard anything, witnesses only seeing the body fall, the security tape showed a man in a dark coat running away a few minutes after the body had fallen, and Warner had ruled his death a murder after seeing the bruises that scattered his ribs. This case had so little to go on, it was difficult.

"Who is this guy?" Olivia whispered in frustration. She cradled her head in her hands as she looked down at the case file that sat on her desk. This was frustrating her to no end and no one from their team had been able to glue all the pieces of the puzzle together. With a sigh of frustration she stood, grabbed her coffee mug, and went towards the station's kitchen, filling her mug to the top. She gulped down the coffee, wincing on the burning sensation down her throat.

"Okay, is there anything new? Any fibers? A match in the system? Anything?" Wondered Finn out loud as he got up and looked at the board, where all the facts were put up. Everyone just shook their head in answer, no one saying anything, their eyes glued to either the board or the case file.  
"Okay let's go over what we have again," said Olivia getting up and walking to where Finn was.

"Well he fell from the top floor, and Warner ruled out a suicide, so we're looking for a killer," responded Amaro.

"If he was raped or not, we don't know, but we do know that there was some type of sexual act." Said Finn.

"Family said they hadn't seen him in a while; family had disowned he after he had come out, friends hadn't noticed anything different." Said Olivia, flipping through the file.

"He wasn't in any relationship that we know, all past boyfriends saying that they hadn't been in contact with the vic since their break up." Responded Amaro, scratching his head in frustration.

"The DNA led us no where, fibers only point to the killer wearing a dark black coat." Finn said, his eyes searching the white board, his arms crossed, body tense.

"Security tape show that a few minutes afterward, a man in a black coat running out of the building. No one saw him run out though, all their attention set on the dead body outside." Informed Olivia, a hand cupping her chin in thought. All eyes were narrowed at the board or the file that sat in their hands.

"What about witnesses? Any of them saw anything different?" Asked Amaro, looking up at the rest of the team.

"Benson, can I see your notes on the witnesses that you interviewed?" Asked Amanda as she stood with a few small pieces of paper. As Olivia walked over to her desk to get the notes Amanda put up the witness statements up on the board.

"What about the tapes, they couldn't see the perps face?" Asked Amaro, scratching his head again.

"No, even with the street camera couldn't get his face, and then he disappeared in thin air." Said Finn, as Olivia handed the pieces of paper to Amanda, their hands brushing and for a split second, they both felt a shiver run down their spine. They all cocked their heads in question as Amanda put up the pieces of paper. It was only another minute after, when Amanda perked up.

"Why didn't I notice it at first!?" Shouted Amanda in frustration, "You know how I did the witness statements?" Asked Amanda as she looked at Finn. who nodded his head in conformation. "Well there was this one guy, real tall, weird lookin', he seemed really nervous and shaky." Informed the blonde, but went on in her explanation, "at the time I thought it was weird, but just thought it was 'cause he was shaken up a bit. He wore a dark black coat - well he was dressed in all black - and said he didn't see anything. He said something that no other witness said, he said he saw a guy running, but that it was some guy in exercise clothe."  
"But there wasn't anyone on the video tapes like that, only the guy in the black coat." Responded Finn.

"That's what I was thinking, so I looked again at all the notes, and all other witnesses said that they hadn't seen anything because they were all distracted. I think this guy is our guy, he looks like the guy from the video and he's the only with the statement that doesn't match anything." Responded Amanda, shaking her head, "said his name was Nat Winters."

"Wait is it that guy that was flirting with you?" Asked Olivia, her eyes widening as she too remembered the guy; she remembered him well because he had made her jealous, not liking how he was trying to get close to Amanda, all Olivia kept thinking was that Amanda was hers and that she would hurt the man if he thought about going anywhere near her.

"You had a perp hit on you?" Teased Finn as he chuckled at the thought.

"I guess you're a real catch Rollins," chuckled Amaro while Amanda glared at him.

"Ha ha ha, laugh it up," glared Amanda, her glare falling directly to Olivia for bringing it up. Olivia just winked and chuckled, and Amanda had to fight to keep her straight face. Amanda went towards her computer and typed in the suspects name, his drivers license showing on the screen. "While you three laugh it up, I'm gonna go catch this guy," she said with a shake of her head, picked up her coat, grabbed her gun, and made sure that her badge was set in place.

"You aren't going to go by yourself," Olivia said quickly, making sure to make eye contact with the blonde, she wanted to let Amanda know how serious she was. Olivia would be damned if she let anything happen to her now or ever.

"I'll go with you, make sure this guy doesn't get the wrong idea." Said Amaro, he too grabbing his coat and followed behind Amanda as she walked to the elevator.

"You think it's this guy?" Asked Finn, still looking at the board, his back turned to Olivia, who was still staring at the spot where Amanda had stood a few seconds ago.

"Well it's the only lead we got," said Olivia, she shook her head at the difficulty of the case. There was barely anything to go after and the longer the case took to solve, the more complicated it began; she just hoped that she could solve this case, even if the victim wasn't the best person in the world, everyone deserved justice.

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Thanks for the reviews! Keep reviewing they make me happy

-Buddy2197


	4. Chapter 4

Here's chapter 4, Ihope you guys like it:)

Mistakes are mine:/

Disclaimer: I own nothing!

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Regret

Chapter 4

Amanda Rollins was one to go with her gut; she had learned to trust it a long time ago, a long time before New York. Trusting her gut was something she had know how to do since she was a little girl. She knew her life depended on it, it was what probably saved her life the many times she's been in danger. She can remember one time where she was coming home from school and she her 'gut' feeling had grown larger and larger, so she decided to go to the local library, just in case. Little had she known that her father had another one of his drinking rage; her mother's ribs were cracked and her arm was broken that night, as well as many other minor injuries. And now that feeling was starting to show itself.

"I don't like this," said Amanda, looking to her side at Amaro. He nodded his agreement, but stayed silent as they walked down the hall towards the suspects's apartment.

"Nat Milson, open up, NYPD!" Said Amaro as his huge fist banged against the black wooden door. There came no response, so Amaro repeated himself once more, "NYPD, we're coming in if you don't open up this door!" No response. Amaro and Amanda took out their guns and got ready to enter. Amaro kicked the door open and then they put their guns up, each scanning the room, looking for the danger. Amanda carefully went into a room, making sure to scan the room for the suspect, and then went on to the next room. Her gut feeling increased the further she inched to the next room. She pushed the door open, her gun raised, ready to be shot if need be. Before she could react, a gun was pointed at her from the corner of the room, being held by the one and only Nat Milson.

"Nat, put the gun down," said Amanda, her voice not showing her anxiousness.

"I can't!" yelled Nat, wiping the back of his hand across his sweaty forehead. His whole body seemed to be covered in sweat, his dark blue shirt had darker patches across the neck, armpits, and chest. His whole body shook, his eyes were frantic, going every wich direction, not staying in a certain place for more than a second. "I CAN'T! They keep telling me to do it! I don't want to, but-but they ke-kept saying th-that I-I-I need t-to." He yelled again, his grip on the gun loosening. He brought one of his hands to his hair, pulling his hair and then pulling.

"You don't have to listen to them, okay? They're just lying, okay?" Amanda tried, but he only shook his head.

"No, they said that I had to kill him! I killed him, I knocked on h-his door, and h-he fell s-so easily, and t-they k-kept say-ing to do it to him, s-so I did! I d-din't m-mean to, I-I-I just wa-anted them to g-go away! But t-they d-din't stop, t-they t-old m-me t-to kill him! S-so I-I-I-I stood h-him up-up, an' p-pushed r-really hard! I-I d-din't m-mean t-to! T-they w-went away f-for a-a-a w-while," he cried, stuttering while he tried to explain what happen, he laughed at the end, glad that the voices in his head had left, but remembered they were still there, "B-but t-they came b-back."

"Look, man, just put the gun down, okay?" Came the reply from Amaro who stood behind Amanda, who stood inside the room, only a couple steps from the door, but gave enough room so that Amaro could stand next to her.

"NO!" Yelled Nat, both hands going back to the gun, and raising it up slightly, pointing it at Amaro. This cause both the detectives body to tense and their guns to rise, each aiming for Nat's arms, not wanting any real damage to be done against him. He needed help, and even if he killed a person, he wasn't in the right state of mind.

"Look if you put down the gun, we can make the voices go away," informed Amanda, but he only shook his head and moved his gun and aimed it again, but this time on Amanda. Amanda felt her gut twist in anxiousness, her body went tense and riggid.

"They said NO!" He yelled and pulled the trigger, but at the last minute he moved his aim. He felt an excruciating pain on his left arm. He looked down at his own left arm to see blood seeping from the bullet wound. He dropped the gun, almost as if he snapped out of it. With wide eyes he saw what he had done; the blonde detective was clutching her shoulder, blood covering her hand, her eyes wide from shock, and her body tense and rigid. Amaro called for a bus and then went to cuff the man, but his eyes were on the other blonde, watching as she clutched at her shoulder. He took away the gun and quickly went over to Amanda, but his gun was aimed at the man to make sure he didn't try anything.

"You hand in there, Rollins, helps comin'" said Amaro, one of his hands went to put pressure on her wound. He made her sit down, his hand never leaving her bloody shoulder, and in his other hand he was pointing the gun to the suspect. "We need to call Craigen, let him know what's happening, okay, so I need you to pay attention." He said, and watched as she winced at the pain radiating from her shoulder; he gave her the gun and she pointed it at the man, who seemed to have calmed down, but was wincing in pain, his arm too bleeding.

"Yeah, but he's bleeding, he needs help," she said, her gun pointed at the man, but her face showed worry. This man needed help, and she couldn't because he had shot her, and she doubted that Amaro would help.

"Hey, Cap, we found our suspect, but Rollins got shot, the ambulance is on their way, but I could use help with the suspect; he's injured too." Informed Amaro, hanging up when he was done, and then turned around when he heard a phone ringing.

"Ugh, that's mine," rasped out Amanda, putting the gun down as she started to dig her phone out of her pocket.

"They're almost here, Rollins, stay awake, okay, take the phone call." Said Amaro, hoping that the phone call will keep Amanda awake, at least until the ambulance gets here. 'Where are those damn ambulances.' Thought Amaro, the blood loss becoming great.

"Yeah," Amanda said as she looked at her phone, and smiled as it showed Olivia's name. "Hey," she said, "what's up."

"You're shot!?" Came the rush voice.

"I'm good, thanks for asking," said Amanda with a smirk, but winced when a stabbing pain came from her shoulder, she groaned at the pain and gritted her teeth.

"Stop playing, I'm on my way, okay, you hang in there," said Olivia, her voice full of worry.

"Sorry," said Amanda through her teeth, the pain getting worse. She was starting to feel dizzy and light-headed, and she knew this wasn't good. "I'm gonna have to stay at the hospital tonight, won't I?" she asked to no one in general.

"Yeah," said Amaro with a scoff, shaking his head, and pressing harder on her shoulder.

"Yeah," whispered Olivia, having a hard time with the fact that the other woman was shot.

"Damn, I'm gonna miss my gun," groaned Amanda, hating the recovery time that she was to go through. She was going to hate it with a passion, she just knew it.

"I'm sure you are," said Olivia with a chuckle, but the worry could not be masked.

"Do you think that I could get a dog after this," she said, but the last part came out as a gasp, the pressure on her shoulder increasing, "damn, squeeze harder, why don't you?"

"Okay," said Amaro, his face showing the fear of how much blood he was seeing.

"Ow," she said, gritting her teeth, "remind me to give you a thank you gift."

"Baby, what happened?" Asked Olivia worriedly, her voice rising in panic.

"Amaro has a vendetta against me." Complained Amanda, but her dizziness was making her want to puke.

"Thank god, what took you so long?" Asked Amaro, as he stood to let the EMTs work on Amanda. He took a step back and noticed how pale Amanda looked, how she could barely hold her own body weight, the amount of blood that her clothe had soaked up; this was bad, it was a simple bullet wound, but the time it took for the ambulance to make it to them was great. He looked behind him to see their suspect passed out, quickly he went towards the man and felt for a pulse; it was there, but it was week, he too had lost a lot of blood and he had no one to press pressure to his wound, but he cared very little for the man.

"Hey, babe, I'ma call you back, okay, the medicine people got here." Said Amanda to the phone, smiling weekly at the other woman's small chuckle.

"I'm on my way, baby, I'll see you in a little bit." Said Olivia as she pressed her foot down on the gas. She needed to get to the hospital, her worry was through the roof and she hated the feeling

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Thanks for all the reviews, the nex chapter will be up maybe tomorrow or Wednesday. Please review, they make me want to write more:)

-Buddy2197


	5. Chapter 5

Here's chapter 5, I hope you guys like it, and the verdict is 6 chapters, but the sixth won't be up until the Friday night. Sorry for mistakes, next time I'll edit better, but I was trying to keep my word:)

Disclaimer: I don't own anything

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Regret

Chapter 5

Olivia Benson rushed into the hospital, quickly going over to the front desk, short of breath, tears in her eyes, and her body tense and rigid, never relaxing. She never remember feeling anything like this, she never felt like her life was going to end when she walked into the hospital, she never felt her heart racing this hard, never feeling so out of breath, but every thing was different now, everything was changing - not that she didn't like it, because she did, she was getting her happy ending, but being in the hospital because her secret girlfriend (?) had been shot was not something she wanted. All she wanted to do was to see Amanda and make sure she was okay.

"Excuse me, I'm looking for Detective Amanda Rollins? She should be here?" Rushed Olivia, worry etched on her face.

"Are you family?" Asked the nurse, her hazel eyes staring back at her with new excitement, tired of being seated there all day.

"Yeah, I'm her wife, and I got a call that she got shot." Responded Olivia, never hesitating, the vision of Amanda in pain glued in her head.

"Detective Benson, I never realized you got married," came a voice from behind her.

"Yeah, haven't you heard, I got hitched." Said Olivia, turning around to face Cassidy, a glare set on her face, her body tensing just the slightest bit.

"Well I guess I should go, congratulation are in order," Casidy scoffed and then shoved her shoulder with his own. Olivia just rolled her eyes, ignored him, and gave all her attention back to the nurse, who stared at her with suspicious eyes.

"Can you tell me where my wife is at?" Olivia said, her voice raising just a little, enough to snap the other woman into action.

"She's in surgery right now, so you'll have to take a seat and wait for the surgeon." Informed the nurse, never looking up from her screen. Olivia huffed and went to take a seat to start the antagonizing slow wait.

Olivia never wanted to go through this ever again, the thought of a love one possibly dying is daunting, and the possibility of someone dying when you're just getting started was even more horrifying. The terrifying thought of not being able to spend anymore time with Amanda was scaring her more than she thought possible. Her knees bounced up and down in a repetitive motion, her hands became clammy, her skin hot, almost feverish, her eyes constantly on the door, never missing anything when the door open, always putting attention to the doctor. After an hour the team came and they all sat, all taking turns in grabbing coffee or a small snack for everyone, but all wanted to stay seated, not wanting to miss anything, just wanting the missing detective from their team back.

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After two hours of waiting, the white stale doors burst open and in came in a woman with dark black hair, dressed in dark orange green scrubs, and white sneakers, her eyes searching the room, skimming over everyone and everything, stopping when she came across the small group at the back of the room, where all of their eyes were trained on her. Slowly she started walking to the now standing group of eager faces.

"Are you the family of Amanda Rollins?" She asked, her voice soft and warm, a small smile on her face, letting them know that nothing was wrong.

"Yeah, I'm her wife," said Olivia, her voice rushed, ignoring the weird looks that she got behind her, her eyes only on the surgeon.

"Well Amanda had a simple bullet wound to the shoulder, nothing complicated, but she can, and probably will have problems with her arm later on. She suffered to a lot of pain and lost a lot of blood, so we'd like for her to stay here for a few days, make sure that she's healthy enough to be taken care of without a doctor around. Currently she is now drugged with a lot morphine so that the pain won't be so great. She'll probably knocked out for a few hours." She finished explaining.

"Can I see her?" Asked Olivia, her whole body telling her to go run and find Amanda, but patiently she waited for the woman to respond and tell her where Amanda is.

"Yes, but only immediate family, so I would suggest that the rest of you go home," Said the doctor, her voice kind, yet it had a little edge to it. The other detectives simply nodded and started to head out, each clasping a hand on Olivia's shoulder for support; she thanked them with a nod before turning back to the doctor.

"Follow me, and I would like to warn you ahead of time that there will be a few machines, but that's perfectly normal, and there's nothing to worry about." Assured the doctor.

"I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name?" Asked Olivia, staring at the other woman.

"Torres, Callie Torres," Responded the raven head with a nod; Olivia simply nodded back as they stopped just outside a white door, and before Olivia could open the door, Callie began to speak, "She was lucky, unlike what people believe, these wounds can be fatal, and she might have trouble in the future, so she'll need all the support she can get." Said Callie, looking at the other woman in the eye. Olivia simply nodded her head, and frowned at the thought of Amanda being in pain any further. "I'll be back later to check up on her, okay?" Said Callie as she began to walk away. Olivia just nodded and began to turn the door knob.

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I know that it was short, but I think the next will be longer:) Review please!

-Buddy2197


	6. Chapter 6

I know it's late, but technically it's still Friday and I had told you guys that I'd update by Friday; that said this is the 6th and final chapter. Thank you all for those that reviewed, they meant a lot, and I loved each and everyone of them. I hope you guys enjoy, and who knows, I may be back for a sequel or an entire new story:) And I have to say I was happy that someone noticed the not-so-subtle crossover, lol:)

Disclaimer: I own nothing, I know it sucks, but there ain't nothin' I can do about it D:

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Regret

Chapter 6

Olivia sat the entire night, worry written all over her face, her eyes never leaving the blonde, they were always on the fallen detective and the heart monitor, which kept beeping constantly, evidence that the pale blonde was alive. Olivia was had never been more grateful for all of the machines that were hooked to Amanda - even if it was selfish; they kept her alive, they did the one thing that Olivia couldn't.

Olivia couldn't look away, she couldn't look away from the other woman's chest, it rose for four seconds and then falling for three, and then again, up four, down three, up four, down three, up four down three; the pattern kept repeating itself, almost mocking her, but she didn't let it get to her, this was proof of the other woman's life, this was proof that she wasn't to late, this was proof that there was still a chance for them to be _them_ - something they were close to being, but life seemed to get in the was; so she ignored the mocking and counted the seconds as Amanda breathed in and out. She felt like she was in a haze, counting over and over, every breath, every heartbeat, every freaking movement, her hooded eyes never letting the blonde out of her sight.

Olivia was on the edge of her seat, her back straight, her shoulders tense, both of her hands on Amanda's left hand, cold fingers laying lazily on her hand, the cold contrasting her warm skin, her breathing stopping when she saw Amanda's eyes flutter, the hairs in the back of her neck rose in anticipation, her heart beating just a little faster, her eyes widening when noticing a difference. The nerves were making her tired, her body craving sleep, but her mind kept her awake, never shutting off, never leaving her alone, and all she wanted was sleep; Amanda would be alright, her breathing was a proof of that, so she should sleep, she should close her eyes and rest, but she couldn't, she didn't want to miss anything, she didn't want Amanda to wake up and find her asleep, so she stayed awake, never once losing sight of the slumbering blonde.

It had been 4:56 am when Olivia sat up fully, the fluttering of eyelids becoming constant, she, herself, noticing the struggle Amanda was going through. She stood, ready to take charge, and stood over Amanda, bringing one hand to Amanda's left cheek, her skin still somewhat cold. Olivia stayed quiet, afraid that if she said anything, that it would stop the progress the woman was making in opening her eyes. She held her breath in anticipation, the fluttering of her eyes becoming quicker, and after a few seconds Olivia found her voice.

"Baby, open your eyes for me, okay?" Olivia whispered loud enough for Amanda to hear, a grunt being the only response. Olivia swiped her thumb over smooth pale flesh, her olive skin contrasting greatly with pale skin, her other hand running through blood stained hair. "Babe, you need to open your eyes, okay, you need to open your eyes for me," Olivia said in a loud whisper, her eyes frantically roaming her face; she bent down and placed a small kiss on the other woman's forehead.

Blue sky eyes slowly opened half way, the blonde's energy giving in, her sight connecting with brown, chocolate eyes; she grunted her hello, her throat feeling sore and dry, never trying to actually saying anything, the pain becoming quite unbearable. She blinked once, twice, before keeping them open for a few seconds before she couldn't keep them open. She wanted pain medication, so she blinked, grabbing Olivia's eyes. She blinked once, waited a few seconds before she blinked twice, and then repeated.

"What is it, baby?" Asked Olivia, her eyes narrowing in question. Amanda blinked once, grunted, her right shoulder moving less than a centimeter, and then blinked twice. Her throat was dry and it felt swollen, and she knew that if she tried to speak, it was going to hurt like hell. "Do you want something?" Asked Olivia, a blink of Amanda's eyes was the only reply and Olivia instantly caught on to what Amanda was trying to do. "Doctor? Medicine? Water?" Olivia asked, waiting for an answer.

Amanda blinked once, tightened her fingers around Olivia's, waited a few second, blinked again, waited a few more second, and finally blinked once more, agreeing to all three, before once more closing her eyes. Olivia nodded, kissed her forehead, and then leaving to find Dr. Torres.

"Hey, babe, how was work?" Asked Amanda, watching as the brunette - dressed in a black blazer, purple v-neck underneath, with black slacks; purse set on her shoulder, and phone in the other - close the door. Olivia turned around and smiled at the blonde, moving closer. Amanda was dressed in one of Olivia's loose t-shirt and black sweat pants, her body above the covers as she sat up slightly, using her right side to sit up, her shoulder still causing much pain and discomfort.

"Eh, you know, work," said Olivia, her smile widening at the other detective's eye roll.

"You do remember the conversation we had two weeks ago?" Complained Amanda with a whine, now sitting on the edge of the bed.

"I don't know what you're talking about," replied Olivia, stepping between Amanda's legs, her hands running up and down her thighs.

"You know exactly what I mean; you're my connection to the outside world! I'm not allowed out of here until maybe Friday!" Exclaimed Amanda, her arms sliding over Olivia's shoulders and intertwining behind her neck, she winced at the pain slightly, but didn't change her arm; she looked around the hospital room as if on evidence. Amanda pulled Olivia in, their lips centimeters away, their breaths brushing the others lips.

"All I did today was paper work and then I went with Finn to interview a victim's mother, nothing serious, honey." Responded Olivia with a smirk, pressing her lips onto the blonde's. It was short and sweet, something that they had become used to over the past three weeks.

"Ouch!" Cried Amanda, her arm falling to her side, her right hand just over her left shoulder, her face mirroring her face, twisted in pain.

"Amanda!" Yelled Olivia, worry etched on her face, looking over at Amanda's left shoulder and then at her girlfriend's face.

"Sorry, it was a bad idea moving my shoulder that much, ugh, damn, this hurts," hissed Rollins, a scowl on her face, pain shooting up to her neck. She hated this part, the part where she had to wait and sit like loser until she finished her therapy, and even worse, she had to pass another stupid pshyc and field test. Amanda was never one to be patient and now she was forced to be and she hated it with all her being. 'Stupid suspect!' She yelled in her head.

"Ugh, I hate it when you don't think. I should keep you away from you." Sighed Olivia, a hand running through her hair, her concern visible.

"Sorry, baby," Amanda said, grimacing at the lasting pain that coursed through her shoulder to her neck.

"I know you are, but you have to be careful," said Olivia, glaring at the blonde, who just simply smiled at her and pulled her towards her with her right hand.

"I know, I promise that from now on I'll be more careful," said Amanda, but only received a glare instead, "okay, okay, I'll try to be more careful."

"Thank you, honey," replied Olivia with a chuckle, leaning in to peck Amanda's lips. She leaned back and then smiled lovingly, even if they didn't have the courage to tell each other that the L word, but both could see it in the others eyes; they were close to saying it, of course, but neither said anything anyway, both scared that the other wouldn't feel the same. It was the same thing that got them in trouble in the first place, not admitting to their feelings, waiting until last minute to confess what they were feeling, but it was harder for them; they both had problems in trusting people, in loving people, and after all the rejection and the years of solitude - only having one night stands and/or a relationship that lasted a few weeks - brought commitment issues. They would get there, but it would take some time for them to confess, but when they do, they'll laugh and have a good night, a good life, and they wouldn't be able to wait to tell everyone.

"Honey, I'm home," the blonde said, closing the door behind, the door shutting with a big bang, Amanda miss calculating how hard she had pushed the door, cringed.

"Babe, what have I told you about the door!" Olivia said, her voice raised slightly, coming out of their room, a towel around her body and her hair wet, droplets of water slowly falling between the valley of her breast. She glared at Amanda, but the blonde's attention was somewhere else entirely; Olivia huffed and responded at her girlfriend's distraction, "my eyes are up here, 'Manda."

"Yeah, sorry about, uh-" Amanda began, her eyes still looking at the other woman's almost naked form, stuttering and licking her lips in anticipation, "the door, it was my fault. I'll do anything for you if you forgive me."

"Anything?" Asked Olivia, and teasing eyebrow raised in question. She sauntered over to the blonde until she was inches away, hands on the top of her towel, making sure it was in place. Amanda only nodded, and then her eyes went dark, lust visible in her eyes; Olivia just smirked as she looked into her girlfriend's eyes, put her hands on her waist, and then looked down at the towel on the ground. "Look at that, it must have slipped," Olivia whispered, her smirk growing.

"I love you," Said Amanda, as she advanced on Olivia, a smirk of her own now growing on her face.

"I love you, too," Olivia responded, closing the remaining space between them in a searing kiss.

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"I do," Said Amanda, a bright smile on her face as she looked at the brunette in front of her. She stared with adoration at the woman in front of her, staring at the white sleeveless dress, framing every curve on the other woman, her olive skin bright and looking smooth. Brown eyes stared right back at her, happiness and love written all over her face, and blue eyes just couldn't look away.

"You may now kiss the bride," Craigen said, smiling at the cute couple in front of him, somewhat jealous of them. Everyone awed when they saw the women connect their lips together. It was sweet and passionate, both pulling the other closer, wanting the other to be impossibly close. After the passionate kiss, they leaned their foreheads together, smiling at each other, yet their eyes were closed, savoring the moment. The clapping of hands brought them out of their haze; they both turned and walked down the aisle...togehter

The End

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Thank you all, again, and please write, I wanna read some Rolivia too *pout*

Next time I'll do better at the ending; I always suck at those no matter what I do, but oh well, it's up, nothing I can do.

Anyways, I hope to hear from you guys when you review *narrows eyes*

3 you all, but I gonna go, it's almost Saturday, and I plan on sleeping.

-Budddy2197


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